


Wildcats Web of Romance: Highschool Edition

by Crazy_Pairing_Person



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Boys in Skirts, Cheerleaders, Crushes, Drama, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, First Dates, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Oblivious Allura, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Oblivious... Everyone, Pining Keith (Voltron), Trans Female Character, Trans Female Pidge | Katie Holt, Vegetarian Allura, Vegetarian Zarkon, Vegetarians & Vegans, lotta firsts, oblivious Pidge, the title was my friend's idea...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-10-07 14:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10363023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Pairing_Person/pseuds/Crazy_Pairing_Person
Summary: No musicals were involved in the making of this fanfiction (though some were threatened).-The thing about love is that it's painful. Keith Kogane knows that better than any of his friends. While their crushes are newly forming, his own has been set since the moment he laid eyes on one Lance McClain. Being his best friend for ten years and not expecting a thing... It's painful, sure. But it's okay, because Keith lives for seeing Lance's smile.He's loved Lance all this time. It's not as if much should change if he tells him.Itshouldn'tchange.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This AU is like my baby. If anyone reading this has ever read 'If You Want Something Done, Do It Yourself', that's sort of an early version of this AU. But I've changed it a *lot*, and hopefully that'll be obvious as you read. I worked on the AU for a long, long time before writing this. I do hope people like it!
> 
> Enjoy the story!

Keith watches Lance move, smiling and bright and graceful. Jumping and cheering and waving his hands in sync with the others. Undoubtedly, in Keith's eyes, Lance is the most beautiful being to ever exist. He's mentioned it once or twice to Haggar. And Sendak. And Pidge. And Shiro. And anyone else willing to listen.

He's not subtle. Not at all. It's a miracle that Lance doesn't know how he feels, really.

"Reel in your rainbow, loverboy," Haggar comments, standing up from the bleachers. She stretches her arms up above her head, the pink plastic on the water bottle in her hand making the sunlight turn a slight pink if Keith looks at it just right. "They're coming over." Keith stands with her and they jog out to meet Allura and Lance halfway. Both cheerleaders are smiling bright like the sun, and panting heavily from exertion. Or the heat. It's a particularly warm day, even for August.

"What do you think of the routine?" Allura asks as Haggar hands over her water with a slight smile. Keith hands Lance his as well, his smile wider, more obvious.

"Wonderful as always," Haggar says, brushing her bangs from her eyes. "It's a wonder you two even need to practice."

The two cheerleaders preen with the praise, and Keith huffs out a soft laugh. He and Haggar are here every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, watching the cheerleaders practice. It's been this way since freshman year. Keith only ever watched Lance, of course. Haggar mainly watched Allura, but she wouldn't deny checking out the other girls as well.

Keith agrees with Haggar's compliments, keeping his eyes on Lance as he watches the other drink. When Lance finishes chugging down about half the bottle, he turns that sunshine-like smile back to Keith. "Hey, we still hanging out later?"

Of course they are. Keith nods, says he'll have the movies and snacks ready for when Lance comes over. Lance gives a soft laugh. The break is over, so he and Allura hand back the water bottles. Haggar and Keith head back to the bleachers, sitting down in their previous spots.

"Keith?"

He glances over at Haggar, reluctantly because he doesn't want to miss a second of Lance and his cheerful... Cheering. Yeah, shut up.

Haggar opens her mouth, but considers what she's about to say, and then closes it. "Never mind. You'll be fine."

Keith tilts his head, and turns to fully look at her. He asks what she means by that.

"Just... You've been his friend for so long. You've been in love with him all this time... Doesn't it hurt?" Her expression is worried, almost. Sad.

Of course it hurts. He doesn't reply, but he knows that she knows. Her own feelings for Allura are barely there, merely a crush. And that hurts, so how must Keith feel, being in  _love_ for  _ten years_?

"Why do you do this to yourself? Why don't you tell him?" Haggar looks at Lance, and Keith looks too. "I doubt he'd hold it against you. I bet the worst he'd do is maybe joke about it, then things would just go back to normal."

Keith knows she's right. He keeps his eyes on Lance, considering it. He... He really does want to tell him. And there's really no reason he shouldn't. He knows that Lance probably doesn't like him back. He's not good enough. But still, Lance deserves to know that he's loved.

He'll tell him. Keith already feels tension leaving his body as he tells Haggar. She smiles and pats his shoulder. "Good luck," she says. "And don't chicken out."

* * *

Keith's at the dollar store, getting snacks. All of Lance's favorites. A bag of different chocolates, his favorite ice cream, three kinds of soda, and all of Lance's favorite ice cream toppings.

Stuffing him full of sweets should help Lance with getting over the shock of his best friend being in love with him.

The cashier's eyes widen at all the junk food. "Uh... Party?" he comments. "I mean, you're missing booze, but..."

Keith shrugs a little. He informs the guy of his plans, saying that he's telling his best friend that he's in love with him. And that he's going to soften him up by putting him in a happy food coma first. The cashier nods in understanding.

"Smart. Good luck."

Keith pays for his things, thanking the guy. He rolls the cart out to his car, because there is no way he's carrying all of the bags at once. He packs it all up, puts the cart in the rack, then gets in his car, the slam of the door echoing in his ears. He has a half hour to prepare for Lance. Then the sweets, the movies... Then the confession.

For a moment, he wonders if he shouldn't do it. If he should stay quiet, like he has for the past ten years. He doesn't mind. He likes being Lance's friend, likes being his closest confidant, the one who knows him down to every little nervous tic he does. But... It does sort of hurt. Even if he knows Lance would never be with him anyway, it does kind of suck to have to listen to him go on and on about whatever girl or guy he's interested in that week. Maybe if Lance knew, he'd be more careful...?

Or, you know, he could just not be Keith's friend ever again.

Keith tries to picture one of his other friends confessing that they're in love with him. Tries to imagine how he would react.

First his mind goes to Haggar, being his second closest friend by a small margin. But then he remembers that Haggar is as gay as he is.

Shiro? Yeah, Shiro's a good one. Okay, it'd be awkward for him. Not for his close friend loving him, but because of the fact that Shiro is more of a brother to him than anything else. Maybe that's how Lance sees him? Well, he's never said it before. Maybe it'd be okay? Let's see... Continuing with the Shiro scenario, Keith can't say he'd act any differently. Be more careful with how often he talks about Lance, yes. Other than that, no. And he practically lives with Shiro, and Lance is  _way_ more understanding than Keith is, so there's no way Keith's confession could go badly.

Keith takes a deep breath. He has to tell him. He has to say something. He knows this. Shaking all doubts from his mind, he starts up the car with a twist of his key. Hell, he didn't buy all that crap for nothing...

* * *

Lance is curled up under his favorite blanket, holding a big bowl of half-eaten ice cream in his lap, and he's leaning against Keith, his eyes trained on the TV. Keith enjoys the warmth, takes guilty pleasure in the way that chill of the ice cream makes Lance snuggle closer in an attempt to stop his shivering. It's adorable, makes Keith's heart glow and warm. When Keith glances back at the TV, he sees the movie's credits starting to roll.

Lance lets out a whine, nuzzling closer. "Don't moooove... I'm cold..."

"Of course you are," Keith says, giving a laugh. "That's your second bowl of ice cream." He shifts, eliciting another whine from Lance. "C'mon, you dork, I have to put in another movie..."

Lance huffs, and sits up reluctantly, drawing his blanket closer to himself. "Why have you been feeding me so many sweets today?" he asked, watching as Keith gets up from the couch with a pout on his lips. "I feel like you're gonna give me some news that I'll hate or something."

Keith, ignoring that comment, holds up two cases. "Which one?" he asks, already knowing which one Lance will pick.

"The one on the left," Lance says, just as Keith predicted. Keith puts in the DVD, and goes to sit back next to Lance. His friend, however, doesn't shift closer for warmth, but instead raises one eyebrow, clearly expecting a response. "Well? Was I right?" Lance asks, when Keith offers nothing.

Keith sighs, and moves so he's facing Lance. "Kinda," he says. Nothing is said for a moment. Lance waits, watches as Keith fiddles with his charm bracelet.

After a moment, Keith speaks again. "I'm in love with you."

The silence is worse now. Keith feels like it's suffocating him. He can't look Lance in the eye, doesn't want to see the shock, hatred, rejection, anger... It terrifies him, thinking that he could see any or all of those if he so much as looks up. He focuses on the star-shaped charms on his bracelet, instead.

Lance's voice is soft when it breaks the silence.

"How long?"

Carefully, Keith looks up. Sees curiosity, not shock. Understanding, not hatred or rejection. Caring, rather than anger. It calms him enough to respond, "Ten years."

 _Now,_ Lance is shocked. "Dude! Why didn't you say anything before?"

"Do you feel the same?" he counters. "If not, I don't exactly regret my silence, even if you're taking it well."

Lance takes a moment to consider the question.

"...No, I don't. I still wanna be your friend, though. It doesn't change anything."

Lance smiles gently, and Keith feels himself relaxing at that. "Yeah, I guess not." He shifts to play the movie, and Lance moves to lean on Keith once more. His ice cream is mostly melted now, but he stirs it up, mixing up what's left of the chocolate sauce and ice cream and a few of the sprinkles. Keith smiles fondly when he notices, then turns his attention back to the screen.

It's out. That's the only thing that's changed at this point, is the fact that Lance knows. And... He doesn't care.

Nothing's going to change now, Keith thinks. Nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

"He's awful!" Haggar declares, holding her soda can above her head.

"No, he's not," Keith says, shaking his head. "He was perfectly nice about it. Asked how long, but not in the weird 'ew, you were in love with me and I've hugged you' kinda way, okay?" Haggar raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it.

Keith looks to Sendak and Zarkon for help. Sendak looks back at his textbook, pretending to read it, while Zarkon is genuinely not paying attention. "Does Peaches look fat to you guys? Maybe I should stop giving her so many treats," Zarkon says, holding up his black cat.

"She's fine, dork," Haggar says, waving a dismissive hand. She leans back, kicking her feet up on the coffee table. "Keith, tell me exactly what Lance did and said when you asked if he felt the same!" Keith is beginning to regret coming over to tell her about the outcome. But he complies nonetheless.

"He thought for a moment," Keith begins. Haggar rolls her eyes, but Keith continues. "Then he said that he doesn't, but he still wants to be my friend and that it won't change anything."

Haggar barks out a snarky laugh. "Hah! You know who else says they'll still be friends? People who are breaking up!" She shakes her head, sighing almost pityingly. "Poor Keith. You've only ever liked one guy, I suppose it makes sense that you're so inexperienced with things like this." She waves her arms, gesturing wildly even with the soda spilling from the can. "We should take you out! Get you some new clothes, hit the town!"

"I'm out," Sendak says immediately. "Studying for the science fair with Pidge."

Keith puts his hands on his hips. "Even if I was interested in 'hitting the town', you and Pidge study together after your Robotics Club meetings." He looks back at Haggar, one eyebrow raised. "Not happening, girly."

Haggar huffs. "You want Lance to hold this power over you forever?! You've only been in love with him this long because you never gave yourself the chance to find someone else!" She gestures to Zarkon. "Dude! Don't you think that Keith should try to find someone else so he can get over 'he who shall not be named'?"

"Lance isn't Voldemort," Keith says, not that Haggar listens anyway. Though somehow, she is making sense. And hey, why should he let himself pine and pine for a guy who doesn't feel the same anyway? It doesn't matter either way. They'll still stay friends. Why shouldn't he find someone else?

Zarkon looks up. "Huh? Oh, yeah. I guess. Who's he gonna date?"

"We'll find him someone," Haggar says. "Keith, meet us at the mall tomorrow, we'll make a day of it! Buy you some clothes, do a little people-watching, figure out your type-"

"Tomorrow is Monday," Keith says. "I'm not skipping school."

Haggar huffs. "Fine. We'll make an afternoon of it! You and me can blow off bringing the water to Allura and sir Voldemort."

"Stop calling him that and it's a deal."

"No promises," Haggar says. She goes to take a drink, but then finally notices that she's spilled all of her soda on her and the couch. "Damn it..."


	3. Chapter 3

Lance licks his dry lips, panting from the exertion of the routine they'd just done. His eyes glance around, scanning the bleachers, expecting Keith to pop out with his water. This has been the routine for so long, so he's confused - and a little worried. He turns to Allura, realizing that Haggar is nowhere to be seen, either.

"Where are they?" he asks, as if Allura would know. But she doesn't, clearly, based on the utterly lost expression on her face.

The two of them turn to the water cooler, figuring it's no small loss. They'll just get water where the other cheerleaders tend to get water during their break. Except, one of the other guys lets out a shriek, and they all scatter. Lance and Allura scream, ducking and running from the wasp that was under the cooler.

Hiding under the bleachers, Allura whispers to Lance, "You know Keith better than I know either of them! Did he say anything about being busy today?"

Lance shakes his head. "No. I haven't seen him all day. Or yesterday."

"What about Saturday?" Allura asks, poking her head around the bleachers to see if the wasp is gone. "I know you guys hung out after school Friday, too."

That makes Lance pause, think back. Keith's declaration had... Stunned him, sure. But he'd been told on more than one occasion that he was so oblivious, that he figures he should have seen a big revelation like that coming. But still. Ten years? Looking back,  _maybe_ it was obvious, a blush when Lance opened his bedroom door without a shirt on, a stutter whenever Lance brought up finding Keith a date. But those were such little things that they were only flashing out at him  _now_. Even in elementary school, Keith had evidently hid his feelings well.

Lance had hung out at Keith's until he ended up staying over - as it usually ended. Then Keith had offered to let Lance have the bed - alone. That was the only part of the night that Lance had allowed Keith's feelings color his thoughts on. Not because it was uncomfortable for him - he trusted Keith. But he doubted Keith was comfortable with sharing the bed, thought it would be easier to just let it go. So he'd agreed, and that was that. Then he'd woken up, they'd eaten cereal, and Lance had left for his home to do homework on his own.

Allura shrieks when the wasp gets a little too close for comfort to the bleachers, bringing Lance back to the present. "U-um! Actually, he told me something on Friday. Maybe he wasn't ready to see me today after that?"

Allura whips around, wasp forgotten as she stares at Lance with wide eyes. "He told you?!" Then, after a moment, she punches his shoulder. Lance lets out a yelp, flinching back in case she  _attacks_ again. "You turned him down! Idiot, we wouldn't be hiding from a demon-bug right now if you had more tact!"

"I had plenty of tact!" Lance argues. "And hey, how did you even know?!"

"You have a giant rock where the part of your brain that handles emotional awareness should be, Lance McClain." Allura puts her hands on her hips. "Everyone knew. The teachers knew. Haggar, Sendak, Zarkon, Pidge, basically anyone who has ever had more than ten seconds of contact with him knew. Except you, because your brain is a stupid rock!" She's pouting like a child at him. Lance looks around at some of the other cheerleaders who are hiding nearby, and all of them give a solemn nod.

This is... Wow. It's sort of groundbreaking for him. Pathetic, too, because apparently he's the only one who couldn't figure it out, and he claims to know Keith the best. "I still had plenty of tact," he says after a moment. "He didn't seem too upset, anyway. I stayed the night at his house, even."

Allura doesn't seem to buy it, and he can't blame her. "Then why isn't he here?! Why didn't he bring us water?"

"Even if he'd brought water, that wasp would still be here," Lance says, looking out. It's settled down now, on top of the cooler. Lying in wait, like a... Like something evil! "You know Haggar isn't here either, right?"

Allura opens her mouth to argue, but then slowly shuts it. "She is oddly protective of Keith," she says after a moment. She sighs, looking at Lance carefully. "I'll believe you for now. Unless I see Keith some time and he's in tears, got it?"

"You wouldn't even ask about why he's crying?" Lance asks, a little offended.

"No. I'd just come find you and punch you," Allura says, completely serious. "You should hope that you're telling the truth."

"I should-"

Allura holds up a finger. "Before we continue, someone should volunteer to go kill the wasp! I nominate Lance!"

"It's not really a volunteer if-" Lance's argument is cut off as another girl shoves him out towards the wasp.

* * *

"Haggar, could you maybe not drag me around?" Keith asks, trying to yank his wrist out of her grip. Haggar lets him go, and spins around to look at him while Keith tries to regain his footing. Zarkon is humming to himself, a small can in his hand with coins. He's planning on getting donations for one of the many animal charities he supports. Keith wishes he could go with Zarkon instead of Haggar. It might involve more talking to people, but at least the focus wouldn't be entirely on himself.

Haggar brushes her platinum-blond bangs from her eyes, one hand on her hips. "What do you want to buy, fireball?" she asks. "Today, we get whatever you want to help you get over your heartbreak!"

"I have no heartbreak to get over," Keith says, but Haggar continues to stare as if he hadn't said anything. Keith sighs, and thinks for a moment. "A skirt?"

"What kind?" Zarkon asks, finally taking interest. "Prints would look nice on you. Nothing too high above the knee, though."

"He should go with something plain and simple," Haggar says, shaking her head. "He has okay legs, sure, but prints would draw too much attention. He's not an extrovert like you, Ezekiel."

Zarkon pouts a little, sticking out his tongue. "Ew. Don't call me that."

Haggar snickers, waving a dismissive hand. Keith speaks, "Would prints really draw too much attention?" His eyebrows furrow a little, looking at her in confusion.

"Maybe. I have no idea. I just think plain is better than prints. For  _some_ people." Haggar smirks, smoothing out the purple plaid sweater she's tied around her waist. "Let's just get you a skirt, okay? Pick out whatever you want."

She drags Keith off to a random store in the mall. Zarkon stays near the door, jumping in front of people who just want to get home and are too tired to listen to his spiel. Keith sees a few people dropping dollars in his tin, probably more than they mean to in an effort to get him to shut up. One thing is for sure, Zarkon knows how to get what he wants.

"Can I just go help him?" Keith asks.

"No way," Haggar says as they enter a store. "He doesn't need it anyway. He knows who to talk to. The tired parents who just wanna get home, the little kids who have no supervision and plenty of cash in their hands, or the older people who always say they 'can't take it with them'. None of them care about where their money is going. Trust me, he'll have gotten at least a hundred by the time we get back to him."

Keith sighs, surrendering to his fate. "Just promise I'll be home by ten?"

Haggar guides Keith to the skirts and dresses area in the store, shrugging. "Sure, whatever. That gives us plenty of time to find you some skirts, buy a giant cookie, a bunch of ice cream, some sad movies-"

"Sad movies?" Keith raises an eyebrow. "Why not happy movies?"

"Psychologically speaking, sad movies are better when you're sad! They offer emotional validity." Haggar pauses. "We should also get an iTunes gift card. Sad music helps too!"

Keith sighs, rolling his eyes. "I would ask where you learned all this, but I feel like you've been preparing since fifth grade."

"Fourth actually!"

Keith snorts to himself, and goes to a rack of skirts. "Let's just get this over with..."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want some ideas for what kinds of skirts Keith should get? Links to pictures, verbal descriptions, anything! If I like some well enough they might 'appear', so to speak, in the story? As it is I already know he's going to wear a knee-length, black, pleated skirt, probably with black tights too. Any other ideas would be appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

"What about that one?" Haggar asks, pointing to a guy across the food court. Keith looks over the guy. Short, dark eyes, blond hair, looks rather awkward and is sort of hunkered above his food in the most isolated area of the food court. The guy is clearly, painfully different from Lance in every way, and Keith is sure that's what Haggar is going for.

"No way," Keith says, rolling his eyes. "Haggar, I'm not just-"

"That one?" Haggar says, interrupting Keith as she points at another guy. Keith doesn't even look, turning to Haggar and snatching away her milkshake - finally getting her attention. "Hey! What gives?!" Never one to deprive herself of sweets, Haggar snatches up one of Zarkon's cookies when he's not looking. "Dude, you have to get over Voldemort," she says, but she says it around a mouthful of cookie so it comes out more like, "Doof, oo haf oo geh offer Volehmoh."

Keith rolls his eyes, putting the milkshake where Haggar won't be able to reach unless she stands up. She glares at him, because they all know she's not going to make that much effort. "I'm not just gonna be able to get over ten year old feelings because I find some guy and decide to go out with him," Keith says. "It's not fair to lead someone on, and it's not fair to myself to try and force it."

Haggar impatiently taps her fingers on the table, but Keith can see that she's finally understanding, at least a little bit. She swallows down the cookie before speaking again. "Are you sure it doesn't hurt? He didn't do  _anything_ that hurt your feelings after you told him?"

Keith hesitates now. Haggar sees it, sits up straighter in her chair. "Well," Keith says slowly, "usually, whenever he stays over at my place, he and I just sleep in my bed  _together_. It never bothered me, and it never seemed to bother him, either. But when I offered on Friday..." He trails off for a moment. "When I offered to let him just sleep alone in my bed, he kinda... Stared at me for a second. Then he just, agreed. I, I don't know what he was thinking, because nothing else we usually did bothered him, it was just the bed. He still leaned on me during the movie, still hugged me when he left. It was just the bed."

Zarkon glances up from counting the donations he's gotten for the day. "Maybe you should ask him about it," he suggests.

"Maybe you should ask out Matt and Shiro instead of being a baby about it," Haggar counters on behalf of Keith. Zarkon's cheeks flame a bright red, and he goes back to silently counting his money. Haggar looks back to Keith. "No, seriously dude, you should bring it up. But be  _discrete_ , don't just randomly ask why he didn't sleep with you, because that'll set off  _so_ many alarms in his head that he'll probably avoid you until spring break - maybe after, even."

Keith huffs. "I'm not saying that doesn't make sense," he says. "But why do I even have to ask in the first place? I know Lance, he probably didn't do it to hurt me. I know he didn't."

"Yeah?" Haggar raises an eyebrow. "I propose an experiment! You always end up sleeping at each other's house on Fridays, right?" When Keith nods, she continues. "Do it at his place this week, okay? He'll offer you the bed, okay? You offer to share - if he says no, insist. Even ask why not, if he keeps saying no. Don't outright ask if he doesn't trust you, but you should damn well imply it."

Keith nods slowly. "Yeah... Okay. I guess." He passes Haggar her milkshake again, and she lets out a squeal. Sweets - the one thing that can get her to actually listen. Keith huffs out a soft laugh. "Should've offered you a pile of candy when you first made me come to the mall," he says. But he looks down at the bags next to his chair, the ones with the skirts that he'd bought. "Not that it was all bad, I guess," he adds after a moment, and Haggar grins from around her straw.

"You are gonna look so  _fab_ _ulous_ ," she says, waving a hand around. Zarkon reaches to stop the milkshake from spilling, and she quickly puts the cup down on the table. "As soon as you put one on, god, all the guys'll be crawling all over you! You'll have to fight them off with sticks!" Keith rolls his eyes, clearly not believing it. And it's not something he thinks he would enjoy, anyway.

He feels his phone vibrating in his jacket pocket, then, cutting off whatever reply he was about to give to Haggar. He looks at the caller ID, and his eyes widen. "It's Lance," he says. "Probably wants to know why we weren't there today." Zarkon and Haggar look at each other, than at Keith, both motioning for him to answer it. Keith licks his dry lips, and presses the green button. He slowly lifts the phone up to his ear, and speaks carefully, "Hey, Lance-"

"Did I hurt you?" Lance asks, sounding almost panicked. "Allura said you'd have come if I had more tact, she thinks I hurt your feelings, and I-"

"Lance," Keith says, giving a soft chuckle, "of course you didn't hurt me. Despite what  _some_ might think - Haggar included, by the way. She dragged me to the mall. Said I should try to 'forget my heartbreak'." He hears Lance give a soft, nervous laugh, and Haggar rolls her eyes at Keith. "Really, Lance, I'm fine."

It's silent on the other end for a second. "...Good. I don't want to be responsible for hurting you." Keith smiles softly, knowing that Lance truly means it, Lance does hate when he hurts someone, intentional or otherwise. "So we won't be doing anything different after today, right? I had to kill a wasp today for my water!"

Keith can't help but laugh. "You poor thing. It didn't sting you right?"

"Of course not. I was too fast for it!" Keith rolls his eyes a bit, a smile tugging at his lips. "Anyway, what about tomorrow? Are we still studying Chemistry together at your place?" Lance's voice is so hopeful that it just makes Keith's heart swell. Damn it, he's so gone for him.

"Yeah, definitely," he says. "And I'll bring you water on Wednesday, too."

"Good." Lance sounds more relaxed, now, relieved. "I'll see you then." Keith says goodbye, and hangs up. Haggar stares, sipping on her milkshake, waiting for him to fill her in.

Instead, Keith stands up, taking his shopping bags into his hand. "I have to get home, do homework and stuff." He nudges the remainder of his brownie closer to Zarkon and Haggar, and the two grab at it like starving wolves. Keith rolls his eyes fondly, and just leaves.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I'm sorry I'm updating so slowly. But in my defense - Originally, writing the first chapter, Lance was going to _freak the fuck out_. But... That just seems really OOC for Lance in general, AU or not. So, I changed it, but that makes it a bit hard for me to stick to the rest of the plot point things I've outlined. I'm really sorry, just please be patient, dear readers!

On their way home from the mall - well, from the bus they'd taken from the mall - Zarkon speaks in a low, upset tone, "You know, that was a low blow."

"What was?" Haggar asks innocently, blinking over at her brother.

"The part where you told me to ask out Shiro and Matt. As far as we know, they're monogamous and I don't want-"

"Oh my god," Haggar whispers, putting a hand to her face. "All my brothers are hopeless. You could  _ask,_ okay? It's not that hard, christ..." She shakes her head. Zarkon pouts, holding his donation tin close to him as they walk along the sidewalk. The matter is dropped there, but unfortunately Zarkon knows that Haggar isn't one to give up easily.

Still, he feels the need to bring up  _one_ thing. "Keith isn't our brother."

"Details, brother, details."

* * *

Tuesday evening is as it has always been. Beginning with Keith and Lance actually trying to do homework. Then, slowly, they started goofing off until they were playing Mario Kart and their textbooks were left forgotten. Keith knows they'll just spend the rest of the evening joking and laughing and playing around... Keith is never sure why they pretend that they'll study.

Lance is upside down, his head hanging off Keith's couch as he tries to toss M&Ms into the other's mouth. "Can I ask you something?" Lance asks, as Keith barely catches one in his mouth. "It's about your feelings. So if it makes you uncomfortable, you can tell me."

Keith nearly chokes, and Lance sits up, panicked. Keith waves a hand, swallowing down the chocolate candy. He clears his throat, blinking away tears, and it takes a moment for him to respond. Lance was asking about... His feelings. Something to do with his feelings. He tries not to show his nerves as he says, "Go ahead..."

Lance nods, but seems to hesitate for a moment. Then, he asks softly, "Why do you love me?" He bites his lip. "I mean, ten years. That's since second grade. What did you even love about me back _then_ , the fact that I shared my crayon with you?" He smirks a little as he says that, and Keith can't help but laugh. Even when things are awkward, Lance wants to make sure he's comfortable.

"Okay, maybe I didn't  _love_ you until, like, sixth or seventh grade," Keith says. "But I still really, really _liked_ you, even back in second grade." He gives a soft laugh, cheeks burning at the memory. "Don't you remember you getting braces like three months after you moved here? And then you refused to smile, and I-"

"Oh my  _god_." Lance covers his mouth, eyes twinkling with laughter. "I think I remember. You asked the teacher, 'what would happen if the sun disappeared'. And when she said that we'd all die - which, by the way, isn't something she should have said to a bunch of kids - you freaking  _tackled_ me from across the  _room_ and screamed that I was going to kill us all if I didn't smile."

The two laugh for a minute at the memory, even though normally Keith would be dying of embarrassment. There's a lot of things he thinks he'll be more open to remembering and saying, now that his feelings are out. Now that he has a feasible excuse for some of the stranger happenings. "In my defense," Keith says, as his giggling slowly dies down, "it seemed like a good idea at the time."

Lance snorts, covering his mouth with one hand to hide the rest of his laughter. "Of course it did," he says, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "You were, like, eight!" Keith shoves playfully at Lance, giggling a bit more. They finish laughing after a minute, their smiles softening and Keith's face almost hurting from all the smiling. "Doesn't answer the question about what you love about me," Lance says after a moment.

"It says that I love your smile."

Lance hums, considering that. "Fair enough." Then, he tilts his head, smiling a bit. Keith makes a mental note - he also loves when Lance did adorable stuff like that. "Anything else? If you don't mind me asking?"

Keith shrugs, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. "I mean... Why do you want to know?"

Lance seems to hesitate at the question, his smile falling as he looks down at his lap. "I..." Keith knows, right away, that whatever Lance is about to say will be a lie. He always looks at his lap, says the first word of his sentence, then looks up and says the rest. Sure enough, Lance looks back up at Keith's face, speaking carefully, "I just wanna know what there is to love about me."

Okay... Maybe it isn't a complete lie. He'd  _repeated_ the first word, and Keith knows that Lance has problems with self-esteem (though he tries to hide it from everyone, including Keith). So that technically is  _true_ , but it _is_ _n't_ why he's asking. Still, Keith goes along with it. He likes making Lance feel better about himself, and Lance hates when Keith put him on the spot. He'll figure it out later, maybe.

"Ah... Well, your eyes. Your laugh. How much you care about others." Keith starts counting on his fingers slowly. "The way your eyes sparkle whenever you beat me in a video game, or when I give you sweets. The calm look you have when you play on your guitar. I remember going with you a while ago to the beach, watching you surf... I love how you looked in the water, like you were just... At home. I just... If I tried to explain every little thing I love, I think we'd be here all night. And all day tomorrow too."

Lance gives a soft, shy laugh at that. "Fair enough," he mumbles, ducking his head. He looks back up, hesitant. "What's it-"

They're cut off when Keith's phone rings. He flinches and looks at the caller ID. Pidge... Okay, it must be important. They both hate talking on the phone. "One sec," he tells Lance, pressing the green button. Lance nods. It might be Keith's imagination, though, but he thinks Lance looks vaguely disappointed...

"What's up-"

"Sendak's eyepatch broke," Pidge says, interrupting him. "He's having a panic attack. I'm doing my best to help but I don't think I should leave him alone, and I don't know where his other ones are..."

Keith sighs softly, almost sadly. Sendak had a thing about his right eye - being that it was red, and he hated it. Which was why he tended to hide it with his eyepatches. "I'll be right there," he says, noticing Lance slumping even further. He hangs up, giving an apologetic smile to Lance. "Sendak's eyepatch broke. I have to bring him a new one."

"Why can't he get it himself?" Lance asks, crossing his arms - it makes Keith pause. Lance isn't one to say that sort of thing. He knows that it stresses Sendak out not being able to hide his red eye - hell, even now, Lance looks like he regrets saying that. "Never mind. Just go," he says quickly. Keith wants to ask, but he presses his lips into a thin line and just nods.

"You can stay," he offers. "It shouldn't take too long." It's here that Lance seems to remember that he's at Keith's house, and stands up.

"No, it's fine. I should get home anyway, it's getting late."

It wasn't late, not by their standards. Lance's parents didn't care if he came home at midnight, even, as long as they knew he was at Keith's house. But Keith nods anyway. "Okay. See you tomorrow." He stands up, watches Lance run off while he grabs his keys.

It's not until Keith is already across the street, about to get Sendak a new eyepatch, that he thinks to wonder what Lance had been about to ask him.


	6. Chapter 6

"Pidge! I brought Sendak's eyepatch!" Keith calls out into Pidge's house. He hears Pidge running down the stairs, and Keith steps further into the house, closing the door behind him. He holds out the eyepatch with a smile, which falls when he notices the frantic way Pidge snatches it from him. She doesn't even remember to say thanks as she turns and runs back upstairs. Sendak must be in her room, then.

It takes a few minutes for Pidge to come down again, clearly more relaxed. "Thanks," she says, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck.

"No problem," Keith says softly. "Just... Interrupted my first hang out with Lance since I confessed to him." He doesn't mean to say that, but maybe he's feeling a  _little_ bitter about the fact that he missed whatever Lance was going to tell him. "Sendak's mental health is more important," he says quickly, not wanting Pidge to take it the wrong way. "I just... Lance was going to say something. Before you called." He winces. He's not helping.

Still, Pidge only nods. She doesn't seem to mind Keith's fumbling awkwardness. She's used to it, likely. She knows Keith just wants to talk about a missed opportunity - for something he's not even sure exists. He doesn't mean to come off as rude or selfish or whatever. "I assume he left your house after you said you had to come here? I doubt you'd mention it otherwise."

Keith nods weakly. He's about to reply verbally when Sendak comes down the stairs. His cheeks are flushed, and he's still trembling slightly. Aftermath from his panic attack. Keith doesn't say anything, and neither does Pidge, as Sendak heads for the kitchen. Keith knows that he's thirsty - he's always thirsty after having a panic attack. Thirsty and tired. He waits, silently, for Sendak to come back into the room, chugging down a bottle of water. When he's done, Keith finally speaks to him. "I can drive you home, if you want." Sendak is more than capable of driving himself, but Keith knows that he won't want to be alone right now.

"I'm staying the night here," Sendak says, his voice hoarse. "Thanks for the offer, though."

Keith swallows thickly, and turns his gaze back to Pidge. "See you later," he says, signalling that he's done with the earlier conversation. Pidge nods, and offers a silent wave in reply. Keith turns and leaves the house, his mind whirring and racing and trying to grab onto a thought, any thought.

Finally, Keith just opts to turn on the radio as he pulls out onto the road. He can think later.

* * *

Lance plays with the zipper on his jacket with one hand, using his other one to send a text to Allura.  _Is it bad if I kinda wanna date Keith?_

Her reply is nearly immediate.  _No. Not at all, considering he feels the same._

_Is it bad if I kind of don't want to tell him? Is it bad if I'm scared to tell him?_

_Depends on why you're scared?_

_I don't really know why. I just am._

It takes longer than he'd like for the next reply.  _Scared of change? Scared you'll break up and lose him?_

Maybe. He doesn't know. He's just scared. Maybe this is how Keith felt. A fear with no real reason behind it.

Keith told him, though. Took him ten years, but Lance can't really see himself waiting that long.

_I don't know_ _._

He can just picture Allura's exasperated expression. He feels sick. Part of him, a small part, really does want to date Keith. But the rest of him is trying to smother that small part of him, whether with unknown fear or platonic feelings for Keith. Maybe if he allowed himself to date Keith, those parts would go away, but as it is they won't even let him ask Keith out, let alone consider that as a possibility.

He'd nearly asked Keith. Nearly asked him, ' _What's it like to be in love?_ '. But then Pidge had called with the emergency, and Lance had lost his confidence. He doubted he'd be able to get it back up again.

Allura's text jolts him from these thoughts.

_You should figure it out soon. Now that his feelings are in the open, he'll probably find it easier to move on soon._

Ice runs through Lance's veins. He doesn't reply, and turns off his phone. The thought of Keith moving on, dating someone else...

Bile rises in Lance's throat. It takes him more effort than it should to push it back rather than throw up all over the bedroom floor. He really,  _really_ needs to figure this out. He knows it, he does. But god, he's so scared to that he's tempted to ignore this whole debacle, tempted to ignore Keith's feelings and his own completely.

That wouldn't end well. Doesn't stop him from considering it.


End file.
